I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
