may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
