Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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