she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
