she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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