I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
