I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
