you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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