So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
