I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
