I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
