It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
