You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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