What did we do last night that was yellow?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
my poor anus
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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