Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
