i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
