My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
