I could have mohawked her pubes.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
