And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
