I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
People in love make me want to vomit
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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