i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
