Acid is not a monday night drug
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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