its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
