ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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