i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
