i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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