OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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