Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
