i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
