U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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