i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
