I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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