Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
