yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
