drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
