I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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