was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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