One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
