Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
