good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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