is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
