I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
