hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
