Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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