so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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