i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
