Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I party with great urgency now.
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