Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
