I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
