The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
