Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
