you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Randomize
