I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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