you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
