soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
