I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
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