i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
