This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
