Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
