How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
