I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
