After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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