I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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