Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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