the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
