He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
