I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
