Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
